Why Do We Generalise "All Men"?

Hi! 

Don't hate me before you hear me out. I'm going to talk about a more serious topic than usual. There is no light-hearted stuff in this post. I want everyone to read this before forming an opinion about the question that's asked. Also, in no way this is a hatred post. 

It is a mere explanation of what women across the world go through everyday and why someone saying "not all men" is a part of that problem.

I wrote this piece way back when this topic came up on twitter. And as I see, it has come up again now and I just want to post it out there for a better reach. I'll start with this analogy I read on a facebook post but I've tweaked it a bit just to make it more clear. 

Analogy:

So imagine, there is someone who supports "NOT ALL MEN." And I'm the one countering them. The situation so happens that they bring out 6 glasses of tequila shots. 5 of them have been poisoned and one is pure. But they don't know which glass has been poisoned and neither do I. They still ask me to choose the non-poisoned glass and drink it. 

I tell them that I'm not risking my life. Why should I? They counter me by saying that I'm generalising all the glasses as same which is unfair for that one innocent glass. 

I next ask them to just tell me which glass is non-poisonous and I'll drink that one. They say that they don't know it either. 

I counter them by saying that my chances of dying (5/6) are far more than my chances of living (1/6). So I should not take the risk at all. They again ask me to be "ethical" and not generalize.

After a lot of pursuing, I finally agree to choose a glass and drink. Unfortunately, I die because I chose the wrong one. Do you know what their not-all-men mentality will make them say? 

"I warned her to choose the correct one, I told her about all those glasses that were poisoned. She was the one who chose the wrong glass, it's HER FAULT!"

Relating it:

Relatively, the poisoned glasses are all those men out there who rape, assault and sexually harass women and men alike. And that one innocent glass among this entire venomous population are those handful of men with some moral in them. But we don't know who those men are. Because they are camouflaged among all the culprits. By saying "not all men" you are only asking us to choose that one unknown glass of pure tequila among the poisoned ones and telling us to actually risk our lives. We do not generalize because we want to degrade some gender. We generalize only to SAVE OURSELVES. Isn't it just better to rather throw all those glasses into trash without taking a risk for life than to give in where the chance of survival is just 1 among all 6?

Yes, I have a dad and a brother. No, they have never assaulted anyone nor they have thought of assaulting someone. I KNOW they haven't. But can the entire female population trust on my dad or my brother without knowing them closely? Nope, they cannot. Which brings us back to square one. My dad and my brother, however innocent they are, are still men.

And you know how they said "it's HER FAULT that she chose the wrong glass"? That's victim blaming. So when someone says "not all men" they also blame the one who has gone through a lot of trauma. The day a woman can walk alone without fear of getting assaulted, on a dark and empty road where there is a man standing & watching her, that's the day when the "NOT ALL MEN" argument will be valid. But until then, let us just generalize and save ourselves, please. 

What is Feminism?

Feminism never meant to uplift a particular gender by degrading another. It was never about hating men. It was never about "men". Feminism means celebrating womanhood and fighting for their rights in a patriarch. It is about smashing the patriarch, stopping misogyny and taking what is rightfully ours. But, in a hustle of social media and gaining attention, we have made feminism all about hating on men which is wrong. 

Men in this patriarchal society have always had an upper hand. Then why do we give them that one thing which is meant for us women? We don't. We continue to fight for our rights and for our empowerment WITHOUT including the patriarch. We include all those people with us who want to fight alongside, men and women alike. Feminism is a beautiful thing. Let's not make it about hating on someone. "Men are trash" or "all men" is for them who belong and support the idea of a patriarch. Men who do not care will never get offended by the phrase "all men". 

Social media has always spread hatred more than anything. Let's not indulge ourselves with those who only say things just so they can get the limelight. Just do your thing, be yourself and leave the wannabes behind (not me, hello!).

Do you agree with me? Share your opinions below! (I'll listen to you, I promise)