Changes

The word "change" has been used here so many times, I hate it already :)

Being someone who doesn't even change her phone wallpaper after getting used to it,  I am very scared of changes. Yes, some people consider changes as exciting and thrilling. But for me it has always been something like leaving behind or moving on, which is hard to cope up with. When I look back, I see how much life has changed and people in it, how I have changed myself. I'm not exactly pessimistic about this but is it not scary to see how many people have left you who once were a very major part of your life?

(I don't know but this was the most relevant picture)

Changes can be from a subtle one to a bigger one: changing your phone number to moving into a new place. Buying new hair products to coming out of a relationship. Even parting with a book or a series that you were so invested in is a change. So how do we deal with these if we are scared?

Change of schools:

I'm not going to write lengths about philosophy. I'm as scared and clueless as you might be. The first biggest change that I came across was when I began my senior secondary school. For 8 years, I've been to one school and I had a family there: teachers and friends included. It felt like home. But when I transferred to a new environment, I felt lost. It took me months to settle there and make friends. That's also when I realised that as you grow up, making a new friend becomes difficult. Some of my old mates were transferred into a new place, others to a new school. I was stuck in a classroom where all people talked about was studies and exams and I felt suffocated. But then I found someone who was very unlikely to be my person. And that made life so much easier; those two years flew by and I didn't even notice.

Change of surroundings:

I started my college and the whole place was new to me, yet again. A hostel, three roommates, a totally different vibe. The people around me were all different from where I've been born and brought up. For a few months I found resort in my online friends. I did not communicate with the people around me because I was scared of not being accepted as I am. My language was different from them, and so were my habits. Sounds dramatic, isn't it? But it all got used to eventually and I adjusted to the change. 

The thing is, you have to give time to the change. I read somewhere that it takes 21 days to acquire a habit and 21 days yet again to reverse it. If we panic, which we do a lot, it is not going to work. Being scared to get out of your comfort to face the change is natural. Being scared out of wits is also natural, like I always am *nervous laugh*.

Change in relationships:

I've had a terrible experience in this field. I can be the one who gives you the best relationship advice there is. But when it comes to me, I lose it. I've f-worded my relationships to the point that the person involved has started hating me. It's really strange how it is when you first meet and you fall in love. You don't get enough of each other, you don't get bored. You become so comfortable around that one particular person and it's same from both the sides. But as time passes by, things CHANGE (at this point, I'm simply scared of this word, lol).

So yeah, eventually our company doesn't mean the same for them as it does for us and we get thrown out of the safe bubble that we used to call a "bond". We have nothing else to do but to pack up our things and leave. Then we struggle, we cry but no one hears us. Eventually we get back up again and get going. We move on. Some days it feels like we have come far and everything is back to normal. Other days, not so much. But in the end, the change falls in place and we get used to it.

Change in oneself:

We all change over the years without really knowing or noticing. We might not even see it unless somebody from the past points it out. Someone or the other constantly keeps on telling me "you've changed." And I always ask them if that's a good one or a bad one because perspectives matter. Humans cannot survive alone, and no matter how self sufficient you are you need validation from your people. Not from random strangers over the internet, but appreciation from a parent, a best friend or a boyfriend sounds uplifting. 

Knowing that the change within yourself is a better one also encourages you to be an even better person. If the change is not benefitting you then you work on it. Time and again, I read the appreciation line saying, "if the 15 year old self saw the current you, they would be proud." In my case, it is true. If my younger self could see the person I am right now, she would be so mesmerized and proud of me. She was scared of changes too, yet she is sitting here writing a blog today after overcoming all the changes and is a better person now. 

Being scared is normal because some of us are just a big fluff of mush. We are strong but even Captain America's shield breaks eventually, right? It's okay if you can't accept the change as fast as they do. It's okay to be skeptical about it. It is also important to let your frustration out of your systems. So go on, scream it out or do whatever it takes to let the garbage feelings out of you. And then, sit back and give time to the change because I know it's gonna be just fine for all of us.